Right Now…


To sum up my Right Now, right now, the short answer is:

I can’t even…

The last two years have been an unprecedented, unrelenting disaster which has taught me my strength, my weakness, and just how far you can carry on, long after you have broken.

Everything else in my life has stopped while I go through this “learning experience” (cue my friend Christopher’s line: Oh God, not another learning experience!). I am started to come through on the other side of it, but have a lot of putting together to do, and a lot of processing. This has definitely impacted my writing, not just in limiting the spare time/brain juice to sit down and write, but any kind of meaningful output is hard as I am still reeling and my frontal lobes can’t come up with much more than WTF?

So, as I step back in to this realm I will bring forth some other brain zones and touch on what has happened more obliquely and abstractly. Ergo, Sohbet time! When all else fails there is poetry. 

And as always, this poem by Hafiz. My writer’s prayer.

~Beautiful Empty Pages~

What kind of work
Can I do in this world?

Who would be kind enough
To hire an old holy Bum,

One with a great reputation
For loving the charms
Of the lawless
And the wild artists and the lewd?

Maybe I could become a poet.

Maybe the Beloved
Will make my love so Pure

That he will come to sit upon
All my Beautiful empty pages.
And when you look at them,

He might kick you
With his Beautiful Divine Foot.

(Daniel Ladinsky translation)