Day 37 – 100 different flavours

I was really looking forward to sitting this morning. Yesterday I had too much going on and just couldn’t bear the stillness. The sit I put off ’til last night was fabulous – quiet and grounded and deep.

Today’s sit was very different, and not just because the sun was up Continue reading »

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Day 29 – interesting times…

You know when you hear those things you know to be VERY true, but holy crap do you ever not want to hear them? Well I’ve had a good number of those coming at me this week.

Firstly, I was talking to a friend yesterday about my latest post, about how people were responding to that and all the things that were stressing me out from it and the rest of my life (as an aside, cheers for friends who will just sit and lovingly let you rant ’til it’s all spent). Somewhere in the midst of my emotional regurgitation she just cocks her head to the side and says to me:

When men want to take care of you, you get really uncomfortable. Continue reading »

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When Your Mind is Stuck…

When your mind is stuck, move your body.

In the pan-ultimate of pop culture philosophizing, I’m taking that slogan from an old running shoe commercial as really sound advice. And taking it a step further. There is definitely something to be said for getting out of your head and just moving, especially when you’re stuck. I’ve found great value in abandoning an habitual walking route to just meander deer trails and dead ends. There’s something about just letting go and following your gut and not caring about where you end up, that even exercised while exercising can trickle down and start manifesting in other areas of your life. Very good life training, doing something different and letting yourself get a little lost.

If you want to experience something different, you have to do something different” That fridge-magnet mantra had been popping up in my mind over and over again for months. In a time where I’d not only been stuck (and VERY frustrated), I could see clearly all the patterns in my life I keep cycling – in my health, in my romantic relationships, in work and finances, everything. I already had the capacity to step back, see: “Oops, there it is. I’ve been here before.” But even bringing that mindfulness and understand to myself and my life, I knew there was some meta-understanding – some connecting thread that I was just not getting! All these separate issues in my life were all stories on the same theme – and like a grade nine book report gone awry, I just couldn’t see the overarching theme!

I spent months trying to force an epiphany (pausing while you laugh at that). Continue reading »

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Holding On, Letting Go

I think a major part of my spiritual practice is subliminal song lyrics (I sure end up quoting them a lot when I write). Little phrases that pop into my head to remind me what I’m working on, or a song I’ve heard a thousand times suddenly speaks to me in a new way. This week, I had both.

The opening line from a Sarah McLachlan song keeps rolling in my head: Hold on, hold on to yourself, for this is gonna hurt like hell. Continue reading »

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Puberty Ruined Everything

I’m a little sister of a big brother – my first and most engaging playmate. I was at least as interested in GI Joes as Barbies, and found killer football waaaay more fun than playing princess. One of my favourite childhood memories is of my brother and I tossing toy soldier paratroopers off a high cliff (at least it was very high in my child sized brain) and chasing after them over and over again. Yep, I was a hard-core tomboy right from the get go. Continue reading »

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