Post-Christmas Meltdowns and Embracing Anxiety (yeah, right)

“Oh, this has been one of my better Decembers …and that included chopping off part of my finger.” was my summation of the holiday season to a friend of mine last night. Kinda sums up what I think about Christmases in general. I boycotted the whole thing this year; vastly improved my quality of life. Continue reading »

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Day 82 – still stuck, small successes

Wow, less than three weeks left on my  100 day project! The tail end of it kinda snuck up on me, around the 50 mark I felt totally done with the cursed thing, so amazing to come up for air and discover I’m in the home stretch now.

Been looking back to the beginning and what started it all, figure I’ve got enough days done to use as a stick to measure how far I’ve come. It seems a short distance. I’m still stuck, though less uptight about it. Continue reading »

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Day 70 – frickin’ vulnerability

After all my rest and peace yesterday – it took ’til darkness fell before I had the capacity to stay awake for more than an hour, and still I slept for 12 hrs when I did go to bed – woke up this morning snarly. I’m just plain mad, and angry – okay angry is pretty much the same thing as mad, but it’s got more syllables so feels kinda different, you wanna argue with me on that, do ya? do ya? huh? Continue reading »

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Day 69 – to sleep, perchance to dream

So, I’ve started off my retreat with the equivalent of sleeping off a giant cerebral turkey dinner. I can’t remember the last time I had such a long non-drug-induced sleep. Like an over-stimulated baby who’s collapsed into slumber, shutting down new input so they can map some new neurons in peace, I can’t stop sleeping. Continue reading »

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Day 64 – Walking with Ghosts

I’ve just been checking my heart. There’s not as many cracks as I remember. The road trip got me looking at again, I’d been too busy to pay much attention to it.

I’m back at the site of The Big Break-up. Continue reading »

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