Part of a Valentine’s double header (I’ll post an article tomorrow), as comfort and entertainment for all you single folk on this most baneful of days, starting a poetic thread of favourite break-up songs. So many juicy ones to choose from…earlier in the week I’d settled on Bush’s Glycerine if for no other reason than the reverb on the guitar gets you right in the gut (the place that needs the most tending after a break-up) but I think it captures the complexity of feelings with some juicy lyrics like: “I needed you more when we wanted us less, could not kiss, just regress…”
But… someone sent me a link to a song that seems to sum up my whole romantic life, and made me laugh, so it’s made the list for new favourite break-up song, and for strange reasons (well, you might think it’s strange, in my mind it makes perfect sense). Mandisa’s Only the World. Part of the lyrics:
Been a hard one, been a bad oneBeen a tough one, been a sad one
It’s been one of those days That keeps chipping away at my heart Nothing new here, it’s what I do here
It’s a stereotypical day in the life I’m surrounded by all of the pain and the strife But I know it’s alright Cause it’s only the world I’m living in
It’s only today I’ve been given
There ain’t no way I’m giving in
Cause it’s only the world .
What cracks me up is the idea, it’s only the world. And maybe this strikes me so much ’cause I’d just been re-reading an excerpt by 8th century Hindu thinker Sankara:“Those who are illumined by the knowledge ‘I am Braham’ renouce their attachement to this apparent universe. It is certain these illumined ones live in constant union with Brahman, the pure blissful consciousness” – from The Crest-Jewel of Discrimination. Aside from what he is saying about non-duality, I love the term apparent universe. It’s only the world, and that shit ain’t real, so how can you posssibly take it seriously? Which is really funny if you think about it.
But, I digress…break-up songs. Feel free to include links to youtube-esque places so people can check out the song (my links are imbedded with the song titles) and your favourite part of the lyrics (it’s okay to slip in a bit of philosophy too). Alright, lets get jiggy with the blues and have a laugh, it’s only the world…
Valerie Roney 
I don’t know if this counts as a break-up song or not, but it think it kind of fits the theme (plus the giant flower heart that gets smashed around and the plate-breaking makes me laugh). It’s by Florence + the machine, and it’s called Kiss with a Fist.
LikeLike
AWESOME song Kari. Having worked in a flower shop through a few Valentine’s, it’s very theraputic to see some flowers get trashed. For those of you who don’t know, this weekend is incomprehensibly stressful for those in the floral industry. One of the women I worked with had her boyfriend propose to her on Valentine’s Day. Her response: “You can’t do this to me TODAY! I’m a FLORIST!” Not the romantic scene the poor man was envisioning.
Highly dancable thrasher song, and beating up on flowers…there’s gonna be some healing with this thread. Booya!
LikeLike
Another flower down for the count! Here is my crazy take on a sweet comic valentine for you! I am sure these girls do not speak English and do not know the words they are singing. I soooo love the Hat and the vocals. EnJOY my dear Flowers!
http://vodpod.com/watch/3034594-justyna-steczkowska-my-funny-valentine?pod=pattittcs
LikeLike
This seems appropriate. Some bad 80’s music to boot.
Foreigner Head Games
Daylight, alright
I don’t know, I don’t know if it’s real
Been a long night and something ain’t right
You won’t show, you won’t show how you feel
No time ever seems right
To talk about the reasons why you and I fight
It’s high time to draw the line
Put an end to this game before it’s too late
Head games, it’s you and me baby
Head games, and I can’t take it anymore
Head games, I don’t wanna play the…
Head games
I daydream for hours it seems
I keep thinkin’ of you, yeah, thinkin’ of you
These daydreams, what do they mean?
They keep haunting me, are they warning me?
Daylight turns into night
We try and find the answer but
it’s nowhere in sight
It’s always the same and you know who’s to blame
You know what I’m sayin’, still we keep on playin’
So near, so far away
We pass each other by ’cause we
don’t know what to say
It’s so clear, I’m sorry to say
But if you wanna win you gotta learn how to play
LikeLike
Okay V., I’ll chip in –
Of course, it’s Luba (who else???) – the song is “No More Words”.
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcGneQjGBc8
“No More Words” Lyrics by Luba Kowalchyk:
You
You gave me your word
And now that your word
Doesn’t mean that much to me
And in the silence I can hear
The truth ring loud and clear
I never meant that much to you
And it seems
A whisper to a scream
Was all that we knew
Before the talk is through
I’m telling you…
No more words tonight
No more words
I don’t ever want to hear
You say you love me one more time
No more words tonight
No more words
I’ll forever keep the silence
And you can keep your lies
You try to throw me one last line
To throw me one last time
But now I guess I’m wise to you
And vows spoken in the night
Are broken in the light
What you recite
I have heard before
So say no more
No more words tonight…
The dialogue is over
I see your lips move
But they don’t make a sound
You’ve lost what I have found
A voice inside of me that sets me free…
no more words tonight.
LikeLike
And I’ll contribute another one… also by Luba:
All Over Again
No long goodbyes
He keeps the engine running
He don’t waste no time
I watch him drive
Down the boulevard
towards that big horizon
I’m left in the dust
With the embers of promise
And the ashes of trust
And to the wind
I will scatter these memories
So that I can begin again
I’m starting all over, all over again
I swear next time
I’m never gonna see it end
I’m starting all over, all over again
This time
No wrong or right
When the one you love is gone
And you’ve been left to survive
Now I’ve nothing but time
Walking back along the tracks
Of all the tears I have cried
But if you must
Take the gold and the silver
From the steel and the rust
This heart will rise
Like a flickering candle
I will weather the storm inside
I’m starting all over, all over again…
I’m never gonna close my eyes
I’m gonna keep ’em open wide
And if I see love start to slide
I’ll hold on ’til all my strength is gone
I’m starting all over, all over again
I swear next time
I’m never gonna see it end.
LikeLike
Another good one Bob! That whole album is ripe with breakup music.
And I love the imagery of the opening lines of this song. It relates well to today’s article about good and bad first dates. Handy info:
keeps the engine running=bad date
walks you to the door=good date
I think I’ve had both. Smooching can also be a good indicator, but not always…
LikeLike
I have three submissions for my favourite break up songs that I play when caught in the depths of this kind of situation. The first one is, of course, Jann Arden’s Insensitive. I love that the Italian fashion designers loved it so much that they used it in one of their famous shows. I think it may have been in Milan, the Italian fashion capital. I don’t know if they knew what the words meant but heck, I’m sure a lot of Italian macho men break a lot of hearts.
My second suggestion is Joni Mitchell’s A Case of You. It’s the whole idea that love is like being drunk and being intoxicated with sacred wine is even more delicious. Maybe this relates to Valerie’s drunken party date stories. It’s amazing how many times we get drunk on falling in love, realize that maybe it wasn’t love afterall, become physically ill and yet do it all over again.
Valerie and I had a conversation about this. We were talking about how everyone has things they are retarded about. Mine happens to be relationships. My last and favourite break up song that I play is Cyndi Lauper’s Hatful of Stars. The image that comes to me while playing this song is me wearing one of those pointy but droopy caps covered in stars. I’m such a dumb numbskull when it comes to relationships and wearing a droopy dunce cap is so apt. The one that I envision myself wearing is just like the one that Mickey Mouse wears in the Sorcerer’s Apprentice. Mickey wants to have it all and be a great wizard/magician. He tries to become one using the “easy” way-borrowing his master’s wand. But he hasn’t done all the training he needs to control the magic and chaos ensues. I’m an apprentice to love but sometimes I want the fast/easy way and of course end up getting hurt.
LikeLike
links to Donna’s songs:
Insensitive — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nrGWwHalCU
A case of you — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QZioxCg20I
Hat full of stars — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcqVGWTIkAc
LikeLike
Thanks to everyone for sharing so many flavours of break-up. I want to add a dimesion that hasn’t been represented yet: solace. Joan Osborne’s Crazy Baby.
And your hands are really shakin something awful
As you light your 27th cigarette
Oh how long have you been sittin in the darkness
You forget
Oh you know you’re gettin really hard to be with
And you’re cryin every time you turn around
And you wonder why you can not pick your head up
Off the ground
Oh my crazy baby
Try to hold on tight
Oh my crazy baby
Don’t put out the light
And they look at you like they don’t speak your language
And you’re living at the bottom of a well
And you swallowed all the awful bloody secrets
That you can’t tell
Oh you know you ought to get yourself together
But you can not bear to walk outside your door
No, you can not bear to look into the mirror
Anymore
(Oh my crazy baby)
And your hands are really shakin something awful
As your worries crawl around inside your clothes
Oh how long will you be sittin in the darkness
Heaven knows
(Oh my crazy baby)
LikeLike
Great idea Valerie! Here is my favorite song for when I REALLY fall for someone and end up totally and pathetically losing myself and giving away my power. Happens way more often than I’d like to admit!
Political ~ Spirit of the West
I was tired of being put right down
by myself for not being what you
thought you had found
pulled hard in two directions by a
desire to learn
and my old affections
when i tried to share my world with you
you could not seem to tolerate
the people i had grown to love
they shrank under your scrutiny,
became the ones you’d hate
why did everything, every little thing
every little thing
with you and me have to be so political?
i was feeling a little underwhelmed
about hanging around with you and
feeling over cautious
every word, every little look, every little sign
every little phrase
put me deeper in your doghouse
you’d let me out to run across your world
i ran into a wall you told me i built you
then you’d reel me in, ream me out, pick me up
push me out again
-and then repeat it
– chorus –
too busy tripping on my tongue
to try and stand my ground
i can still see myself crying in your lap
asking you are you happy with the man you have found?
i’m greatful for what you did for me
i can see things now i never would have seen
today i thought about what could have been
but could never be for you and me
because everything, every little thing
every little thing
wtih you and me had to be so political
———————————
Great lines picked up from songs on the radio, that screamed out to me after a promising relationship ended in a dramatic and painful crash and burn…
‘Keep coming up with love, but it’s slashed and torn’
‘I used to be love drunk, now I’m hung over’
‘This used to be a fun house, now its full of evil clowns’
‘Candy-coated misery’
LikeLike
Candy-coated misery…I LOVE that.
Great song Darren, here’s a link for those who want to listen to it:
In complete opposition to the thesis of this song, I’ve been thinking about the phrase: “you like somebody for their good qualities, but love them for their faults” I think in true love, this isn’t about: “oh, ain’t that quirky, ya gotta love ’em”, but if you truly deeply love someone, you see their weakness, their struggles, their faults, and it touches your heart and makes you love them more.
It’s counter to love to view somebody as needing to be “fixed” and I think we are just as proned to viewing ourselves that way as anybody else.
(I guess that counts as ‘slipping in a bit of philosophy’ – yes, go ahead and read that like ‘slipping in a bit of vomit’ just try and stay on your feet!)
LikeLike