Day 3 – the solid stilled centered Self

Wow… well that was unexpected.

Because I’ve got a house guest camped out in my living room, I did my meditation in my room today. And the most practical place to do that involved sitting in front of a mirror.

Weird.

Strange to just sit and look at yourself for that long. First off I was struck with how different the image I saw today was in comparison to the last time I really took a good look at myself. I seem much more seasoned, less raw; like an aged plank of wood – more likely to stay true no matter the circumstances (I also noticed I really should have brushed my hair before I sat and stared at myself for 20 minutes… my brain isn’t always riddled with the  profound).

As the meditation got deeper and my vision started to soften, I became much more aware of myself as a reflection, something out there, in contrast to the solid, still, part of myself doing the sitting. I felt dropped down into a deep centering of something that felt very real and everything else around me being just born of a sense of perception. Hard to describe. A sense of: here, this is real; out there, something that is of-real, but filtered, generated. Trippy.

When the timer went off, I had a hard time coming back, connecting to that reflection, finding again that sense of me in there, in the face that was becoming animated and moving again. Reconnecting with the world around me, yet still carrying that sense of solid stilled centered Self that whispers: I’m going to be okay…no matter what. And that knowledge seems more solid and real than anything else.

Blech..hard to write from this space. I’m going to go outside and just BE.


3 thoughts on “Day 3 – the solid stilled centered Self

  1. I meditated while holding up my hand mirror today. It’s also the only deliberate, in my free time meditation I’ve done in at least a month (not including while waiting somewhere quiet for several minutes, nor lying down, open to meditation or nap.) I do feel I was out of practice today! I had some nice experiences of my breath. I suppose I have a bit of fear with meditation, and with looking at myself. Fears that generally get disproven, like today.

    I think my mind was quieter after, though I immediately had internet problems! So I bought hungry groceries instead of posting. I’m still really valuing quiet, even as I plan tomorrow. I too am feeling in touch with myself, and wanting to act on that.

    And yes, there were all the distractions of looking at myself, too. I think I’ve had some layers of identifying myself, or between my core and my selves, that Valerie describes. Though not today, I felt very matter of factly, this is me, (my face,) me.

    xoxo

    Like

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