Well, it’s day 12, and guess what? I’m still stuck.
And I’m pretty unhappy about that. Some small rational part of me knows I’ve barely begun this 100 days… and that push and pull and pressure and stress I’m feeling is part of what you’ve got to put on something to get it unstuck.
But I don’t care. I want my spiritual cookie! I want some kind of reward for trying, for taking this on, for going deeper and growing more. I want some proof this undertaking is worthwhile, worth what I’m going through. And I want it now!
Of course, the world doesn’t work that way, and I know that – even amid my sulk of protest.
Yet I sit. I get up and do it every day; not because I have any proof it’s going to make a difference (and days like today, not even much hope), but because it seems the only thing I can do.
An unenthusiastic act of faith, but one I continue to step up to everyday.