My friend has just gotten started on internet dating. So far she’s gotten way more hits than she expected (YAY!), but the emails she’s been getting are clearly indicative of the fact men have forgotten how to pitch woo (Boo…).
Now, the pitching of woo is a different thing from the hurling of sheep or whatever it is they do on facebook these days. Woo (our deep late night patio discourse has determined) is something beyond dating, it actually precedes dating, it is the taking the effort to get to know a girl, convince her of your honourable intentions, sell her on the idea of dating before you even date.
Nobody does that anymore. And I think it’s a bloody shame. Nowadays everybody just does “coffee.” Coffee, something you do with your friends, something you do for work, something that doesn’t necessarily imply anything. It’s just coffee, it’s not drinks, it’s not even dinner – hey, it’s just coffee. Coffee is not woo, coffee doesn’t even imply woo, you ask a girl out for coffee, she doesn’t even know if it’s a date until the guy moves in for a kiss – which may be a bloody surprise after just coffee.
Coffee is a no risk scenerio. No risk scenerio is not sexy. Falling in love is scary. If you can’t risk beyond coffee, can you risk falling in love?
My brother was telling me about how he and his wife got together; they met at university. He had taken a few years off between 2nd year and 3rd year and was telling me how the dating culture had changed in just that time. When he first when to school, you asked a girl out – dinner, movie, the whole shebang. You stepped up to the plate and the girl knew she was being dated [insert quote of Leonard telling Penny: if I was dating you, you’d know you’d been dated!]. When he came back to school everybody just went for coffee and he thought that was bogus. When he had his eye my sister-in-law… he asked her out. And it must have worked – married 10 years now.
So what is woo? My whole generation doesn’t even know. We’ve been having some serious late night hypothesizing here tonight and so far we’ve come up with:
Woo is about taking time. Investing, pursuing, a little sweat equity (don’t take that as an innuendo!). Doing the work to show a girl she’s valued, and you’re a man who can be counted on – worth the effort for us to shave our legs and wear those wobbly shoes.
If a girl matters to you, let her know, show her she’s treasured. Put some effort into winning her affections – ’cause we’re all very affectionate, we just need to know we’ve got a good man to be bestowing it upon.
In a world of technology and high rise offices, swathing grass and pitching hay isn’t something we do much anymore; but fellas, come on, flex some muscles and pitch some woo. It’ll be well worth your while.