So, my latest health adventure is my adrenals seem to be coming back online – though in fits and starts. Mostly this means I get the adrenal rush of fight or flight response out of nowhere. An ohmyGodohmyGodohmyGod alert for no bloody reason which leaves me wound up beyond belief.
My acupuncturist has given me some homework to help alleviate this energy crashing at the gate of vitality or whatever he called it after sticking twenty needles in my ass. 10 minutes a day of consciously circulating this energy so it doesn’t bung up, flare up, and freak me out. It’s great!
It’s been a rough week. Being really sick is surprisingly easy, in it’s own weird way – at least the things-to-do list is simple, not a lot of complex decisions. Being stupid and taking on too much and wearing myself out is also rather easy (though not recommended). What is very bleeding hard is BALANCE – plugging back in but still taking it easy, making careful choices about how to expend my energy and figuring what to let go of (or what not to grab hold of in the first place).
What I’m finding really hard isn’t what to do physically, but how to plug in and be aware of what’s going on without it filling my head (especially as my brain is still kinda broken). I get flooded really easily these days and aside from just not opening my email, this breathing homework is the best remedy I’ve found (mind you, I’ve also discovered GABA and all I have to say is: niiiiiice!)
Just 10 minutes where I can’t seem to hold anything in my head but this circulating breathing, and I chill… right… out… Golden. I’m used to meditating for 20 to 30 minutes if I sit down at all, which I mostly haven’t felt the time or inclination for. But 10 minutes is a tiny sliver of your day – and if you spend it all focusing on your breathing it seems like frickin’ forever. Golden.
So as I’m trying to plug in and rebuild a smaller life, something scaled down and simpler, I’m reminded of baby steps and how powerful tiny things can be. So take 10 minutes for youself, breathe, be quiet, let go. This one tiny thing is HUGE. Try it.