Valerie Roney

I’ve had a lot of pyjama days in the last few weeks, but it’s another thing entirely when you commit to an underpants day. Something special happens when you decide to spend a whole day in your knickers. First off, you’ve pretty much committed to not leaving the house. Now pyjamas, you can wear those practically anywhere – anyone I’ve driven to the airport before 10am knows this. But when you’re in your unmentionables, you really shouldn’t be stepping out of the house at all (though of course you can’t really resist that illicit step outside to grab the paper or dump the coffee grounds in the shrubs).

And that’s the joy of an underpants day. The self indulgence, the harmless (and delicious!) rebellion against society’s expectation of getting up and getting it together, the in your face! about what people think you should and should not do in your underpants. I once walked past a guy rebuilding his front step in nothing but his superman undies (no word of a lie!); I really wanted to run up to him and give him a Yay for underpants! high five …but that would have been weird, so I just grinned quietly to myself and pretended I didn’t see that super S on his backside.

An underpants day is a day of utter slothitude, a day at home to do whatever you bloody well please and damn the outside world. I once had friend, after a long and tiresome breakup say she was off dating, she just wanted to sit in her underpants and play video games for a year – that’s the spirit! Video games and all other couch activities are definitely underpants appropriate. Find yourself a Dr Who/James Bond/Cheesy Horror marathon on cable – or make your own from your DVD’s or PVR – maybe today’s the day you finally catch up on all those episodes of… (crap, if I had cable I’d be able to make some witty reference to what’s on TV these days. I’m just really jazzed to have discovered how to make a great HDTV antenna out of coat hangers so I can watch Big Bang Theory again – now in digital)

Underpants day is a day of multiple naps, of reading a whole book uninterrupted in one go (though this can mess with your head having your brain immersed in an alternate reality for extended periods. you’ll come out of it for a snack and be surprised to see there aren’t actually 2 suns in the sky, or the toaster won’t just make toast when you tell it too). When you’re tired of the couch, you may just tackle sorting out that storeroom, or something else you’ve been ignoring ’cause you haven’t had more than 4 waking hours alone in your house for 8 months running. Very gratifying to rein in some chaos in your life. Today is about you, ignoring the outside world and just living in your own tiny world. Make it your own, rearrange some furniture, take a pile of junk out to the ally (just be quick about it, maybe wait for the cover of darkness).

About 10 hours in, you may be getting tired of slothing around and feel the need to move – going for a run in your underpants is definitely out (as is anything else around parks or children), so I’d recommend some Interpretive Dance in Your Underpants (I’m so fond of this that I’ve even made mixed CDs for myself and to pass on to friends – this here’s the cover for the Booty Shakin’ Edition). That’s right, when was the last time you danced in your living room? REALLY danced? Not just a little butt wiggle or fist pumping, but totally indulged your inner spaz and just moved? Do It! This is your day, Bruno Mars understands. So follow his lead and shake that knicker-clad booty and bust out your coolest uncool moves!

If a good dozen hours of sloth and solitude have got you tired of your own company and wondering what’s going on in the outside world, you could take part of your underpants day to call a far-away friend, or heck, even skype (just mind where that webcam’s pointing, I’m sure you’re friends would be happy to see you, but Man! they really don’t need to SEE you…). And of course twitter is a great place to connect to people in your underpants (…somehow that sounds sorta creepy when I say it like that). Some of your deepest and most amusing thoughts happen while sitting in your knickers, why not share that? And it feeds that screw societal expectations vibe. you really shouldn’t be chatting with people when you’re in your underpants – and yet thanks to the intertubes you can!

Whatever you do, this is your day! Make it an underpants day!