Sohbet – Snotty Seuss Slam

Well, it’s cold and flu season again, and we had so much fun with the headcold haiku last year I thought all you sadly snotty suffering people could use a bit of cheer. So, this round how about a Seuss Slam on all things snot related? A jolly exchange of odes to the code in your node.

I’ll get you started with some motherly advice, then I want to hear your snotty, seussy poems!

Spit it out! (My mother said
of that stuff in my lungs
that drips from my head.)

You can’t leave that gunk
sitting there in your chest.
Don’t just cough a little,
cough BIG, it’s the best.

Now listen to your mom’s advice,
a dainty cough won’t save your life!
Heed my words, or you’ll get pneumonia
and I’ll find you dead, next time I phone you.


5 thoughts on “Sohbet – Snotty Seuss Slam

  1. Green and ugly it stuffs up my head
    For three days now I’ve laid in my bed
    When looking for sympathy you have to be wary
    It’s only found here in the dictionary.

    A box full of Kleenex I’ve gone through at least
    In trying to deal with this runny snot beast.
    And still it continues as I gasp and I wheeze
    I’m not down and out but just on my knees.

    What did I do? Where could I have caught
    This thing that deserves the old “netty pot”
    I flush green snot out ten times a day.
    “Oh let it end soon” to the big guy I pray.

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  2. I’m not much of a poet, but here’s what I got:

    I’d like to explain my painful dismay,
    But there’s just not a chance. No kidding, no way!
    Everyone knows about snotty and sneezy,
    It’s just not that easy when my chest isn’t wheezy.

    You see for some time I get a wee cold,
    My nostrils plug up and a small cough takes hold.
    That ailment though is simply a ruse,
    My body’s warning of news, “it’s your throat in their views.”

    It’s advising of viruses, maybe millions, at least a few,
    They’re about to take part in what viruses do.
    Attacking my neck’s innards making it swelly and sore,
    What those miniscule bastards have in store, I abhor.

    There’s not much I can do to counter their charge,
    I sleep and I rest. I try not to live large.
    My job is to simply hold supply lines, getting all the right stuff to all the right places.
    Because by and large it’s out of my hands, the army’s in charge and they’re manning the bases.

    As I understand it, the army are lymphocytes,
    The pathogens are the bad guys who they have in their sights.
    All I know is if I rest well and eat well, though weak,
    I might be well enough to go back to work next week.

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  3. My snotty contribution is not a seussian write up but a description of what I would look like if I drew what my face looked like it feels with this darn head cold. It is sort of a tribute to Picasso.

    the left side of my face
    is fairly normal
    with only a drop
    poised at the end
    of my nostril
    ready to be
    wiped gently
    by a lotion soaked tissue

    The right side of my face
    has a large pulsing bulb on
    the forehead
    my right eye is swollen
    and laced with red veins
    with tears streaming
    my cheek bone is
    as sharp as a knife’s edge
    my lip is scaly and red
    and best/worse of all
    there is a river of
    goo pouring out of my
    left nostril
    that no hankie can
    sop up

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