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failure

Celebrating My Failure!!!

Right, so while I was there to watch my friend’s desperate (and successful) eleventh hour crunch to get his 50,000 words in before the midnight deadline–fuelled and inspired by truly awful ninja movies (I think perhaps other people’s bizarre and reckless storywriting gives you permission let go on your own giant brain dump) I was surprisingly happy with my own abysmal failure in the matter.

I didn’t even come close to the 50k mark, but hey! I doubled my wordcount from the five thousand I started with. Considering that first bit took me two years, and doubling it took me under two weeks I have gained a better understand of my capacity and what a bit of push and focus can do.

However, what I’m really happy about are all the things I learned about myself while I was not even remotely succeedingRead More »Celebrating My Failure!!!

ToV 13 – Hope as a Delusion

Success is as dangerous as failure.
Hope is as hollow as fear.

But but… I hear you saying in protest to these lines, the ideas of success and hope so ingrained into our collective psyches. Just hear me out, it’ll make more sense shortly!

We’re starting to get into variations on themes here in these chapters and this calls back to Chapter two’s No Judging! Here we have a different spin on the same principle, and one that may be a little more painful to look at.

I was watching Love and Other Drugs the other night, about a woman with early onset Parkinson’s. Some fella falls in love with her, starts dragging her around to no end of cutting edge experimental treatments until she finally gets pissed off and walks out; tired of living life in hospitals, she wants to get back to her actual life. The fella chases her down, asks: “Don’t you want to get better?” She answers: “Yes. Desperately. It’s not gonna happen.” This woman’s got the wisdom to live the life she’s got rather than wasting it on pursuing the life society says she should have.

Hope, just because it’s optimistic doesn’t make it any less a delusion. Read More »ToV 13 – Hope as a Delusion

Day 93 – meh, call it 100

Yeah, so… my efforts last week to plug back in took the last of the stuffing out of me. I’m now faced with the reality I have to let go of even the last few threads of things I was holding on to. Including this 100 day project.

I was pretty wrecked up about this until a friend said to me: Hey, I work in fundraising, we round up all the time. 92 days? Round up! Your done. I liked the sound of thatRead More »Day 93 – meh, call it 100

Day 83 – resignation isn’t the same thing as acceptance

The idea of being stuck is rooted in the belief where you are is different than where you should be.

The definition of stupid is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Being as I just last week posted something I wrote 2 years ago on taking risks and falling flat on my face, I’m an idiot.Read More »Day 83 – resignation isn’t the same thing as acceptance